Laziness is Next to Uselessness
by Mr. BramStoker
Summary: A typical Monday in the Watchtower can lead to some hilarious situations. Don't believe me? Read and see what REALLY happens when the JLA isn't out saving the world


**Laziness is Next to Uselessness**

**I do not own any Justice League slacking around and being a lazy bum.**

It was a Monday afternoon in the Watchtower as everyone was up and about in the station. Everyone that is, except for the main residents…

"Ugh, how much more of this can we take? My arms are killing me!" Hal whined, as he was struggling to lift his energy-constructed dumbbells.

"Oh it's not **that** heavy! Suck it in and keep working out, you big sissy!" Wildcat hissed, slapping Hal up the head as he watched in disgust. "Dinah, c'mere and help me get this whippersnapper here into shape. Dinah?"

Wildcat could only face palm as Dinah rested on the couch, snoozing contently with a bag of potato chips near her and the latest Playboy magazine on her face. "Ok, is it my imagination or has Dinah become a little lazier than usual?" Robin asked.

"No, you think?" Helena snapped, irritated by Robin's clueless repetition of stating the obvious. "I think its fine with me. Look at Dinah, sleeping like a baby. How purr-fectly cute." Selina teased, as she stroked Dinah's blonde hair.

"Well your puns are purr-fectly quaint, but why the hell do you always hafta carry that there cat o nine tails wherever y'all wander off to?" Vigilante asked in his overly heavy Southern accent

"Because it helps to let creeps know that she means business. Now enough of your redneck gibberish and help me fix the danged electricity wires!" Wildcat hollered, the Louisiana-born hero rolling his eyes before moving over to help out Ted.

"Ok, has anyone seen Wally here?" Linda piped up, peeking her head in as she entered in a blue robe with her pink slippers. "Linda, honey, its two thirty-five in the afternoon! Why are you wearing your nightgown? Have you noticed the heat wave around here?" Mera quizzed.

"Yes Mera I have. And for those of you asking, I was prepping for my daily beauty nap. Now if only Mr. Fastest Man Alive were here so him and I could make it more… pleasurable." Linda hinted, an erotically sensual look in her eyes.

"All right, who's the wise guy that nabbed our latest issue of Playboy?!" Two-Face snarled, brandishing a rolled up newspaper.

"Robin…" Diana hissed, the perverted Boy Wonder curling into a fetal position. Two-Face's eyes went wide like plates upon seeing his magazine on Dinah's slumbering face

"A-HA! We thought we made it clear; that's for our mistresses only!" Two-Face grumbled, about to yank the magazine off of Dinah's face

"Oh I wouldn't do that, Harvey." Mera warned in a singsong voice. "Why the hell not?" Two-Face rasped gruffly. "She bites. A **lot**." Killer Croc answered, revealing his bandaged fingers. Just then, the double personality reformed criminal backed away as he heard Dinah growling like a wolf in her sleep.

"That's better." Selina responded, patting Dinah's forehead as she settled down before snoring again. Just then, who showed up but Batman, the Watchtower's resident grump.

"Robin…" Batman started, that no-nonsense tone in his voice. The Boy Wonder gulped nervously as the crusader loomed over him like a giant carnivorous lion eyeing his prey.

"Did you send Spoiler a video of that horrendous what does the Fox say again?" Batman snarled, as Robin was too frightened to reply as his lips shrank to a raisin like form.

"Oh Bruce, quit being so intimidating! Look what poor Timmy's feeling like!" Zinda retorted, comforting Robin as Batman shook his head.

"Tim… either you learn how to man up or I'll go full Jillian Michaels on your rump" Batman growled, sauntering off, everyone staring back at his fleeing form.

"What's up with **him?**" Athena asked, curious of her fellow Leaguer's moodiness. "You'll have to excuse Bruce. He's kind of, well you know…brooding." Diana explained

"Ok guys! We have a problem!" Selina babbled, rushing to the women like crazy. "uh, the plumbing's backed up again?" Oliver joked

"No you dummy, Dinah's not waking up! She's in like, oh I don't know some kind of sleeping spell or something!" Selina explained, as the pretty blonde bird was definitely indeed not stirring a bit. Vigilante stepped toward her slumbering body and puckered his lips together when…

"Hold it a minute, bucko! There's no way I'm letting you kiss my wife with those disgusting bayou scented lips!" Helena hissed, about to lean in and kiss her when all of a sudden her eyes felt heavy.

"Uh… Helena?" Mera asked, tapping her shoulder. But Helena was fast asleep too, collapsed on top of Dinah, snoring loudly.

"Oh no! Not **her** too!" Selina gasped in horror. "The Watchtower is haunted! It's HAUNTED, I tell you! It's cursed by evil spirits and it's haunting us forever!" Sage babbled hysterically, cowering on the floor.

"Vic, get a grip, for crying out loud!" Hawkgirl snapped, before turning to see Lois snickering. "What are **you** laughing about?"

"Oh man… that-that look on his face…" Lois started before she guffawed hysterically, rolling on the floor. Hawkgirl felt a sweatdrop to her forehead as the Leaguers joined in the merriment. "Shaddup!" Ted hollered, entering in before slipping on a banana peel.

THUD!

"Now **that's** funny! Hahahhahahahahhahahahahaha!" Lois cackled, still in hysterics. The only ones who weren't laughing were Selina, Dinah and Helena whom were still asleep, the Amazons and Batman, looking grouchy as usual.

"I can't believe this. What happened to heroes with dignity? What happened to heroes with common sense? What happened to heroes with intelligence and proper behavior?" Batman ranted crazily

"What happened to you removing that pole out of your butt?" Hippolyta commented. Suddenly, all eyes were on her as the Dark Knight stood there firmly on his firm feet at his most firm form.

"You don't scare **me** with your big bad entrances and your little thingamajigs…" Hippolyta started, pausing to see if anyone else would back her up. "… So there!" Hippolyta finished, before rushing over to Dinah and Helena.

"Aw, don't my daughters look so angelic when they're sleeping? It's so sweet." Hippolyta cooed, love hearts billowing over her head. "Oh brother." Two-Face groaned, slapping his forehead. "do me a favor: keep your mouth shut." Killer Croc added as Hippolyta reached forward and kissed Dinah on her lips. Then like a bolt out of the blue, her eyes opened.

"Oh… My… God." Wally gasped, astonished. "Wallace West! Where have you been?!" Linda hollered, rushing up to her husband with a mudmask on her face and a towel draped over her hair.

"Um… I had a mission to attend. Why… are you wearing the nightgown?" Wally asked suspiciously as Linda started smooching his shoulder hips. "Ok, now don't get too crazy." Wally commented, before an obviously horny Linda dragged him into their bedroom.

"… What happened?" Dinah asked sleepily, waking up as Helena yawned loudly, rubbing her tired eyes. "Well, it seems my lovely ladies had a long nap. It's good to know the Sandman decided to wake the both of you up." Hippolyta commented as Dinah and Helena stared at her blankly.

"Um… ok, Mom. Thanks." Helena simply replied, as both girls hugged her. "aw, my babies." Hippolyta sighed lovingly, kissing both their foreheads. "Now go on, go make your beds." Hippolyta ordered, the girls heading off

"Hippolyta… how do you **do** all that?" Oliver asked. Hippolyta waved her elegant lovely black hair and spoke "well I'm a monarch, mother, babysitter, legal guardian, nanny, supervisor, protector and a masseuse. What more do you need to know?"

There was a slight pause before John finally responded with "What a woman."


End file.
